Pandemics, mass shootings, natural disasters, and terror strikes are all possibilities. There has been a lot of sadness and worry for parents to deal with their children. To that list, add Russia’s expanding invasion of Ukraine.
With events on TV and social media swiftly developing, child development experts advise parents to check in with their children of all ages, but not to be concerned if the discussions are brief.
โFor children under the age of 7, it might just be acknowledging that something is happening between Ukraine and Russia and ask, โHave you heard anything?โ Take the childโs lead,โ said Janine Domingues, a clinical psychologist at the nonprofitย Child Mind Instituteย in New York.
She and others stressed the need of honesty for people of all ages.
โOverall, just provide reassurance, that this is what we know right now. Let them know you donโt know all the answers but here are some places we can go,โ Domingues said.
As Thursday’s battle increased anxieties, governments throughout the world, from the United States to Western Europe, Japan to South Korea and Australia, lambasted the Kremlin. Stocks tumbled and oil prices soared. President Biden hit Russia with some of the widest and most severe financial sanctions the world’s most powerful economy can summon.
Karina Serio, a 16-year-old from Cecil County, Maryland, plans to concentrate in Russian and European studies in college. As a high school sophomore, she is currently assisting Ukrainian children with their English through an online volunteer organization and moderating a group chat on the Telegram app with up to 600 Ukrainian adolescents at a time.
โI think itโs scary,โ she said. โYou know, right now Iโm sitting here in my nice house and thereโs people my age sitting in their apartments listening to sirens go off. They canโt sleep. They donโt know what to do. And I feel bad, like, what can I do?โ
Janice Torres of Brooklyn is one of the parents who has already been bombarded with inquiries from her children.
โShe asked why they are having a war? And if the kids are in school,โ Torres said of her 8-year-old daughter. โShe saw me crying as I watched a video of a dad letting his kid go on a bus. She told me that sheโs glad America is not at war. She doesnโt want to go on a bus without us.โ
Dr. Gene Beresin, executive director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, stated that whether they express it or not, young children, tweens, and even older adolescents all have the same basic worries about war: Am I safe? Are you, the individuals who are looking after me, safe? What impact will this have on my day-to-day life?
Though the invasion is taking place thousands of miles away from home for American children, social media and television coverage may make it seem like it’s just around the corner.
โMany, many, many children who witnessed 9/11 on TV, who witnessed the Oklahoma bombing on TV, who witnessed the Challenger disaster on TV, got post-traumatic stress disorder. The media is huge,โ Beresin said.
As a result, several experts advise avoiding turning on the television to see the invasion unfold. Unplugging from screens for a period of time may be beneficial for very young children. Preschoolers, according to Beresin, may want extra TLC time with a parent or caregiver as they work through their emotions.
โThey know things are troubled. They know things are problematic. They may ask you if youโre worried. Kids of all ages may ask if youโre worried. And frankly, youโve got to be honest. You can say, โYes, I am, but we can manage this. We can get through this.โ I would indulge them a little bit,โ he said.
Andrea Barbalich is the editor in chief of Week Junior, a weekly newsmagazine for children aged 8 to 14 that has 100,000 subscribers across the United States. She has been covering Ukraine with her team.
โWeโre very calm in our tone and weโre selective in the facts that we present,โ she said. โWe avoid very frightening and upsetting information and focus on the helpers wherever we can. Right now, for example, there are thousands of people around the world and many governments working together to stop the conflict and end the fighting. There are people on the ground who are helping people who are injured. There will be humanitarian aid for people who need it.โ
Before the recent outbreak of conflict, she sent out an issue on Tuesday that focused on forces gathering at the borders, detailed Russia and Ukraine’s shared history, and emphasized the US stance. The invasion will be the subject of next week’s edition.
โWeโve heard from a tremendous number of parents already who have thanked us for covering the story so forthrightly, and they are telling us that they appreciate our calm and factual approach because their children are frightened and they werenโt sure what to say,โ Barbalich said.
The most crucial step for parents, according to Dr. Nick Hatzis of the Compass Health Center outpatient mental health facility in Chicago, is to “establish an environment that allows for listening.” He believes that talking about Ukraine is precisely what some students want and exactly what others don’t.
โThereโs going to be a lot of back and forth,โ said Hatzis, medical director for child and adolescent programs. โWe want to make sure that we are actively promoting our routines, our schedules, participating in the meaningful activities in our lives and in our kidsโ lives.โ